Summers End

4th Street Manhattan Beach Lifeguard Tower

Sandy shot, Rosecrans MB

Just as fast as the summer arrived, it is leaving us at the same speed. Teasing us with the deep blue, cloudless sky and warm weather....thanks mother nature! However the ocean is still jaw clenching-ly freezing (at least to us Californians). Thank you summer for your June Gloom lasting until August and your cold weather that I thought I had left back in Sweden. Thank you for giving me sun burned shoulders on a cloudy day. Thank you for forcing me to wear a sweatshirt on 4th of July. Thank you summer for scaring all the tourist with your ominous clouds and cold breezes mid summer. Thank you for putting our lifeguards into endless boredom watching calm, cold, empty water. Thanks for the incredible heat wave and huge waves you brought us mid August, I'm sure all the kids going back to school loved that one. Thanks. The weather wasn't all that was troublesome for me this summer. In fact it was at the very bottom of my list of worries. 


I left my second home, Sweden, May 4th. Arriving back to the states with a heavy heart, feeling like something was missing. Having to depart from my friends who had become like family to me was extremely hard. My best friend Sara and my Swedish Dad Ulf were the worst. After partying with my teammates 3 nights in a row, it was time to go. Ulf drove my Mom, Dad, Sara and myself to the train station in Angelholm. Sara and I were pretty much silent the entire ride because we knew if we tried talking we would cry. I felt like I was leaving for college again and saying goodbye to my high school friends. Call me a crybaby or emotional basket case, but this is what happens when you leave the people who made you feel so welcome in their country, in their homes and a part of their families. But there is some comfort in knowing that I will see these people again, I know this. We got to the train station and said our goodbyes. I actually saw a few tears well up in Ulf's Swedish blue eyes. Sara and I were trying to keep smiling and promising each other that a trip was going to be planned and that we will see each other soon. Red eyed and exhausted from all the hugs, kisses, and crying, we boarded the train watching Ulf and Sara wave up at us while it slowly left the station. That's when I stopped talking for the majority of the trip to Norway. The unhappiness of leaving had set in. 


The summer began with my arrival back to the US of A. It was bitter sweet. I was happy to be home but I felt weird being back. It had been such a long time since I had seen Manhattan Beach and all who goes with it, I had to re accustom myself a bit. Took me maybe 2 or 3 weeks to fully accept that I was going to be home for a while. Then I got the news that the club I played for wasn't going to need me back for the up coming season. Well, I was shocked to say the least. They said they wanted me back and then this. I talked to Sara about it and naturally she felt the same. Luckily my Mom was there to talk me through it and also to have a couple drinks with me. A friend came by later that night to cheer me up and make me laugh a bit. Since then I have "fired" my agent, signing with a new agency, a smaller one, and have been waiting to get another contract. It hasn't been easy but I will continue to push. To keep in volleyball shape I have been training on the beach and indoors. The beginning of the summer I started out strong and ambitious. I was ready to get going, to make things happen. I didn't want to make the same mistake I did last summer, being unprepared to go to work if and when I signed to another team. I had no distractions this time, I was ready. However, if you have ever played a team sport you know it is a lot easier to train when you have someone, a coach or teammate, pushing you through work outs. I was alone for the majority of my training. When I started to work for a local indoor club, that is when my support group grew. I worked the clubs camps and 2 weeks into them we began to practice for 2 hours after the camps were done. This was huge for me, getting to practice indoors, working on everything. Plus the people I worked with would coach me every so often which I invited them to do always. I respect them and their coaching me was important. Even though I tended to slack every once in a while this summer, I feel like I have kept myself in shape. When you know you don't have to do something, it makes it all the more difficult to do it. Being an athlete, I feel I can never sit still for too long. 


Besides digging for volleyball contracts, I have also been sifting around for jobs coaching in Australia and New Zealand. After sending what felt like 100 emails to both countries, I talked to a friend from New Zealand and told him what I was doing. He chuckled and then told me I was going about it all wrong, he said "all coaches for sports in high school there are volunteers only!" I was stunned. He then told me that he could try to get my foot in the door with New Zealand's volleyball association as a developer or officer. Only problem, there are 3 positions and so availability is sometimes sparse. I got one response back from OZ and she gave me advice on which schools to look up and to become a PE teacher instead. Sounds good to me. So contract or not, I will continue to dig around for jobs in those two countries. I absolutely loved New Zealand and have wanted to go to Australia since I was a little kid. Until then you will find me at the beach either running, playing, or sleeping. Take care!